The Misadventures of Sanzo and Sanzo
by Phoenix73182
Summary: (Story finished 1-22-03) Ah yes, some interesting things have shown up on the groups credit card, so another Sazno reports in to see what's up with them. Having to follow them to the next town proves interesting...(PG for language)
1. Day One

Author Note: There are footnotes near the Japanese. The translations are at the end of the document. This is not a self insertion, and flames are immature so will be ignored all together. REMEMBER, this is fiction, and all in fun. I do not own Saiyuki or anything like that...yadda yadda...on with the story. 

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Sanzo sat at the table drinking a beer. He watched with a vein ready to burst from his forehead, Goku and Gojyo ready to kill each other off. Hakkai sat sipping tea not minding the daily occurrence of those two killing each other over stupidity. Sanzo took his paper fan out, stood up and smack both over the head. "Urusei na!"(1) He had lost it. Nothing but bickering the entire time they had stopped for lunch. He was about to really go through with the threat of killing both of them. 

He sat back down crossing his arms, still thoroughly pissed off. He hadn't gotten any peace in weeks. What he wouldn't do for just a day without all of them. Well...maybe not Hakkai. He wasn't one of the problems and he had the car. 

The door in the bar flung open and in stepped a girl in a rather skimpy black halter dress. A dragon, no bigger then three inches tall, sat on her left shoulder. She carried a backpack, and a paper bag. Her hair was purple, the same purple as Sanzos eye color, and her eyes were gold. 

"Sanzo hoishisama ga imasu yo!" (2) 

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to the girl. She stood there with a big smile on her face with her right arm up in the air, posing. Goku started to snicker and everyone went back to whatever they were doing. She sat herself at a table near the bar, and put the paper bag down next to her on the floor. The dragon fluttered over to the other chair at the table and perched itself. 

"Ne kaiju.(3) What do you want to eat," she asked the dragon. He chirped at her and she shook her head. "Yeah, I'm hungry for that too." 

Goku lost it. Gojyo lost it. Hakkai lost it. Even Sanzo tried not to smirk. The girl turned around to see what was going on and saw four men in the front of the restaurant part of the bar, laughing like mad men. She looked at them puzzled and turned back to her dragon. She shrugged at the dragon and rummaged through her backpack. 

"Can you believe that? She thinks she's Sanzo..." Gojyo wiped tears from his eyes and slapped Sanzo on the back. "The only thing she has going for her is that weird red dot thing on her head..." 

Jeep flew in from where he had been parked outside after he had turned back into his dragon form. "Jeep?" Hakkai watched the dragon fly over to where the girl sat with her dragon. He perched himself on the chair with the small black dragon. 

Hakkai got up and walked over to the girls table to see Jeep chirping happily to the little black dragon and vis versa. He smiled at the two dragons and turned to the girl. "I see that our dragons seem to like each other. Why don't you join us?" 

She looked up to Hakkai with a big smile on her face and stood up. "I'd love to." She picked up her belongings and the little black dragon perched on her shoulder. 

She sat down in a chair between Hakkai and Goku, hanging her bags off the chair. She looked over to Sanzo with a shocked look on her face then around to the rest of the men sitting there. "Hey, you're the Sanzo that the Three Aspects sent West. Nice to meet you finaly." She stood up and put her hand out to shake, only getting an unemotional look back. "Well, aren't we grumpy." She sat back down looking over to Goku. She smiled and started to feel unwanted. 

"Ne jou-chan(4), do you really think you're fooling anyone like that," Gojyo asked pointing at her clothes. "As you can see, Sanzo is a guy." 

"What are you talking about? I'm not a guy." 

Gojyo looked at her puzzled. 

"I'm also Sanzo, but, do call me Sakura. Sanzo is such a yucky, untasty name." 

Sanzos eyebrow started to twitch. 

"Then show us something that proves that you are." Gojyo knew he had her now. Surely she didn't have anything authentic to show them. 

Hakkai picked up his tea trying to stay out of it, and sipped at the cup. 

She pulled up her dress reveling a garter belt with a pouch on it. Gojyo had been watching what she was doing and now had drool trickling down his chin. Goku followed Gojyos gaze seeing what he was drooling over. He looked at his drooling friend confused. Hakkai saw this playing out from the corner of his eye and glanced over. Let's just say, Hakkai stopped getting the tea in his mouth... Sanzos eyebrow twitched again. 

She opened the pouch and removed a credit card. "I do believe you must have one of these," she said handing it to Sanzo. 

He took it from her and looked at it. He sure did have one. It was a credit card from the Three Aspects. 

"Ne, Sanzo. Why is hers a different color then yours," asked Goku looking over his shoulder. Sanzos eyebrow twitched again. 

"Yeah Sanzo. Looks like she has a Platinum card. Isn't that a better card then your Gold card?" 

"You're right Gojyo. You get a higher credit limit and better interest rates with a Platinum," said Hakkai jumping in. 

Sanzos eyebrow twitched again as he handed the card back to Sakura-Sanzo. She took it from him and put it back in it's pouch. 

Gojyo started to laugh, but, all three, yes even Hakkai, got a paper fan upside the head. 

"I even have that horrid outfit with me. I've had to wear it a few times. The skirt on it is just too long for me." Sanzo almost lost it with that loud mouthed girl. "Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm suppose to travel with you to the next town. Isn't that great guys?" 

They looked at each other with horrified looks, even Hakkai stopped smiling. (You know things are bad when he stops doing that...) Jeep and Kaiju chirped happily at each other. At least someone was happy about them having to do that. 

"Might I ask why Sakura-san," asked Hakkai with a sweat drop on his face. 

"Because I'm suppose to monitor you guys for a day or so. Oh wait, isn't it a week trip to the next town? Oh well, I was told to follow you guys to the next town anyway. We'll really get to know each other better then!" 

Sanzos eyebrow twitched again and the other three fell off their chairs onto the floor. She fished through her backpack and found the letter she was suppose to give to Sanzo when she found him. She gave him a big smile and shoved it in his face. The vein in his forehead started to throb. He took the letter from her. The Holy seal was on the front and everything, he just didn't want to know what was in store for him in the next week. He opened and read nevertheless: 

**Genyjo Sanzo-**

**I have sent Kigai (5) Sanzo to watch your actions while she travels with you to your next destination. I cannot disclose why we have sent her at this time. You will know after she has left, and brought us information on you. Please carry on like you would if she wasn't there. **(How the hell is that going to happy with that annoying little...) **She is merely there to observe so she shouldn't get in your way or bother you too much. **

Sanzo stopped reading the letter right there and looked over to the girl. She was holding some sort of dog treats, making Goku do stupid tricks and feeding them to him. The vein throbbed...his eyebrow twitched. Oh yeah...won't even know she's here. He put the letter away in one of his kimono sleeves. It was killing his eyes to read without his glasses. After he found out why she was observing them, whoever did it will be killed. It might be that they were taking too long and they wanted to know what the hell they were really doing...but... couldn't they observe from where they were? Weren't they all seeing? Or did they just want to punish them for something... 

Sakura-Sanzo was still playing with Goku like he was a dog and Hakkai was trying to get her to stop. Gojyo was encouraging her and laughing...that's when it hit them. The fan that is. Sanzo had pulled it out of where he keeps that damn thing, and hit all of them. Except for Hakkai this time...he was trying to stop it. Sakura-Sanzo rubbed her head where she had been smacked with the fan and looked up to Sanzo. She snickered at him and said nothing. His eyebrow twitched again. "Let's go," Sanzo said turning to walk out of the bar. 

Sakura-Sanzo gathered up her stuff from the back of the chair and put the bookbag on. Her dragon perched herself onto Hakkais other shoulder, for Jeep was on the other one. He smiled at the small black dragon. 

"Ne, Sakura. You got anymore of those snack things?" Aksed Goku tugging on her arm. 

Sanzo smacked him with the fan. "UrUsEi NA!! Those damn things are for dogs BAKA ZARU!" (6) Goku hid behind Sakura-Sanzo, peeked his head out from behind her then stuck his tongue out at Sanzo. "Neeee...." 

Gojyo kicked him and he went flying through the open doorway of the bar. "Baka zaru." 

They walked out of the bar seeing Goku laying on the ground with big swirly eyes. Gojyo walked over to him and poked at him with his foot. "Mushi-mush..." (7) 

Jeep floated to the ground from Hakkais shoulder and turned himself into the white jeep. Hakkai got behind the wheel and Sanzo got into the passenger seat. "Come on you idiots! I'd like to get going now," yelled Sanzo with his eyebrow that never seemed to stop twitching. 

Sakura-Sanzo got in the back and lounged out making no effort to conserve the small space. Gojyo picked goku up by the back of the shirt, who was still out cold with swirly eyes. Gojyo looked at Sakura-Sanzo with a , "Do you want me to do this to you also", look on his face. She smiled at him and sat up, making room for him and Goku to sit. 

Hakkai started the car and they were on their way to the next town, heading west of course. 

~~~~~ 

Sakura-Sanzo perched her self onto the back of Hakkais seat watching the road in front of them. She was getting bored with just driving and hoped that some youkai would come out of nowhere and attack. But alas, nothing to beat the crap out of in sight. She sat back down and put her book bag on her lap and rooted through its contents. She pulled out the sutra she was guarding and set her book bag aside. She then took the brush that was inside the paper bag, and brushed her hair back into a ponytail. 

"Ne, Gojyo." 

"Hmmm...." 

"Can you hold my hair like this while I tie a ribbon around it?" 

"Yeah sure..." He leaned over the sleeping Goku laying next to him, and took her hair in his hand. She took the sutra and wrapped it around her hair then tied it into a big bow. 

"Thanks Gojyo." She gave him a peck on the cheek and he blushed slightly. (Wait...Gojyo blushing? That's not right....Anyway....) 

She stepped over Goku and stood behind Sanzo now and looked over his shoulder to see what he was reading in the paper. He glanced up in the rearview mirror to see her ugly mug smiling at him. He turned around violently almost destroying the paper in the process. 

"..............." He glared at her. No she didn't. She couldn't sink that low as to use her sutra as a hair ribbon. Not even he would dishonor his sutra like that...not that he wore ribbons in his hair...but you know...His eyebrow twitched and he turned back to his paper trying to ignore her. 

She reached over and grabbed a section of paper from his hands and sat herself back down. Now he was at the breaking point. He hadn't even read the whole damn thing yet and someone had to get him started...If Goku go up and said to him that he was hungry, Sanzo knew he was going to explode. 

"Hey, give me the sports section," said Gojyo to Sakura-Sanzo. 

"Sanzo still has it." 

"Ne, Sanzo..." SMACK! 

"URUSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!" His vein was poping out of his head and he was now standing with one foot on the headrest, fan in hand. 

"You didn't have to hit me over the damn newspaper..." He rubbed his sore head and decided he was going to torture Goku. 

Sanzo sat back down just has Jeep slowed down to a stop in the middle of the dirt path they had taken through the woods. A very large tree had fallen down into the road and there was no way around it. The trunk had to of been atleast 6 feet high. 

"I guess we'll have to turn around." Hakkai put jeep in reverse as Sakura-Sanzo jumped out of the back. 

"Kaiju, come on. We'll get everyone over that tree." The little black dragon flew off Hakkais shoulder and landed on the ground several feet from everyone. "Okay, do your stuff." She smiled at her dragon as it started to glow with white light. 

Sanzo watched this play out. Surely that little bite size dragon couldn't change into anything but a tricycle. He was dead wrong. 

The dragons light turned blinding and everyone had to shield their eyes from it. The light dimmed off and there was the vehicle the dragon had turned into. Everyones jaw dropped, well...except Hakkais. For some reason he knew that, that little dragon was more then it seemed. 

Before them now was a huge, black monster truck. It had big orange and red flames up it's sides and massive guns and rocket launchers mounted into the back of it. Sakura-Sanzo smiled and patted one of the tires. "Now that, is a dragon that's useful." 

Sanzos eyebrow twitched and he was about to pull his gun and start shooting at her, but, then they wouldn't get rid of all this faster. It wouldn't look to good if she never showed up to make her report. Who the hell knew what they would stick them with after her! 

They all piled out of Jeep and he turned back into a dragon. Rope latters fell from the two doors and one from the back. Sakura-Sanzo begain climbing up to the drivers side. Hakkai looked over to Sanzo, who gave him a look, and decided he was going to sit with her in the cab. 

Sanzo, Goku and Gojyo climbed up the latter and sat themselves in the back. "Goku, don't even think about touching anything," said Sazno glaring at him. 

Sakura-Sanzo opened up the glass that was on the back of the cab so she could talk to them. She peeked her head out the small window and smiled. 

"If we run into any large groups of youkai, use can use those guns. They are all forms of exorcism guns. I've found they work quite nicely." She brought her head back into the cab and started the truck. Sanzos eyebrow twitched. "Brace yourselves back there!" She started over the fallen tree and the truck almost had it's nose fully pointing at the sky. They got over the tree with a hard bounce on the other side and she drove the truck several feet from it. There was another flash of light and the dragon turned back, all of them landing hard on their butts. 

~~~~~ 

That night they were far from civilization, forcing them to camp out under the stars. Hakkai was building a fire about ten feet from where Goku and Gojyo had the job of setting up the tent. It was large enough for a group of ten people to sleep under comfortably. They needed the space since Goku slept like he was wrestling in his dreams. 

Sanzo sat by the fire that was now a blaze with life, his glasses on, reading the newpaper that seems to apear out of nowhere. Jeep was curled up on the otherside of the fire sleeping with Kaiju curled up on his back. Sakura-Sanzo was no where in sight. She had run off to make a report up, saying she need complete silence or something. Sanzo didn't stop her, even offered his lighter to her for some light. 

"Baka Zaru! What the hell are you doing!" 

Goku looked up from where he was rumaging through a backpack, not realizing he was rumaging through Sakura-Sanzos belongings. 

"But something smells really goo-" 

THWACK! "Urusei na!" Sanzos veins were throbbing, ready to burst. He put the fan away and walked back over to the spot he had by the fire and continued reading the paper. 

Goku rubbed his sore head and zipped up the bag, walking out of the tent. 

"Food...hungry..." He had a dazed look on his face, walking towards the woods. His stomach gurgled loudly as he diapeared into the darkness. 

"Goku...where are you going?" 

"Leave him be Hakkai. Not even you can call him back when he's hungry," Gojyo said hammering the final stake into the ground. 

Hakkai looked at the spot where Goku had wandered off into. He was uneasy ever since Sakura-Sanzo went off by herself. Something just didn't feel right. He walked into the finished tent and sat down on the ground, leaning against one of the polls. He slowly faded into a uneasy sleep. 

Gojyo sat on the ground next to the curled up flying lizards, and lit a cigarette. Sanzo took out one himself, and lit it by way of the camp fire. He took a long drag on it then got up. Gojyo followed suit, both knowing that something had to have happen. It was taking both Goku and the stupid girl way too long to get back from whatever they both were doing. 

"Shouldn't we wake up Hakkai?" 

"Leave him. Let's go." Sanzo walked towards where goku was last seen walking into the woods. Gojyo hesitantly looked back towards the tent then followed Sanzo closely. 

Hakkai woke after they disapeared into the darkened woods, adjusting his monocle. Standing up, he looked out of the tent cautiously hearing the faint rustling of vegetation in the opposite direction they walked into. Getting into a defensive stance, he summoned up a blinding white ball of chi energy and waited for whatever it was to exit the woods. 

A low snarl escaped the unknown creatures lips making Hakkai know for sure it wasn't Goku or Sakura-Sanzo coming back to camp. It leapt out of the dense shrubbery, aiming to pounce on him. He let the chi ball loose, evaporating the creature into dust. This was followed by loud laughter. Very loud female laughter. 

Sakura-Sanzo walked out of the woods holding her sides she was laughing so hard. She walked over and picked up the biggest remain of the creature that Hakkai just killed and handed it over to him. Taking it from her he noticed instantly that the only thing that he killed was a stuffed animal. 

"You should have seen the look on all your faces when you thought we were in danger!" Goku fell out of a tree trying to hold back his amusement and failing horribly. He started to laugh just as loud as Sakura-Sanzo was. 

"You do realize that Sazno and Goyjo will not be too happy when they find out this was all..." he was cut off by gun shots. Sanzo stood behind them on the other side of the tent and was none too happy about what had just happened. 

"Oh shit," Sakura-Sanzo screamed and grabbed Goku by the arm running back into the woods to take cover. 

"Come back here you hentai yarou!" (8) Sanzo chased close behind the newest members of death row. 

"Sazno, let's not be too hasty now..." Hakkai ran after them making sure someone really didn't lose their life over this stupid prank. Just the fact that it had actualy had Sanzo worried, made Hakkai hold no hope for those two to see the next 24 hours without pain involved. 

Gojyo found a nice comfortable spot under the vast tent, lighting up a cigarette, and finding some food rations to munch on. He ate and smoked with gunshots and screaming as his dinner music. After relaxing for more then an hour he took out his bedroll, and was lulled to sleep by the screams of the not so innocent. 

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1. Urusei- Literaly means "Noisy"; can also be a very impolite way of saying shut up. 

2. High Priest Sanzo is here! 

3. Kaiju- Monster 

4. Jou chan- "Missy" 

5. Kigai- Mean mischief when written in kanji. 

6. Baka zaru- Stupid ape 

7. Mushi-mush- Hello? 

8. Hentai yaouro- Perverted bastard 


	2. Day Two

Author Note: There are footnotes near the Japanese. The translations are at the end of the document. This is not a self insertion, and flames are immature so will be ignored all together. REMEMBER, this is fiction, and all in fun. I do not own Saiyuki or anything like that...yadda yadda...on with the story. 

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Sanzo woke with the morning sun blinding his violet eyes, making him squint and pull the blanket up over his face. He rolled over, wanting to force himself back to sleep. The silence was too much for him and he finally got out of his bedroll to greet it with tired eyes. He carefully stepped over Hakkai who was sleeping near the entrance of the tent, who ended up there because of not wanting Goku rolling over the top of him. The cool early morning air made Sanzo shiver slightly, forcing him to put the top half of his kimono back on. The sound of birds softly singing and the dew hanging in the air almost made Sanzo smile with bitter happiness. 

"OHAYO GOZAIMASU MINNA (1)!!" Sakura-Sanzo stood in the middle of the large tent dressed in a long night shirt, her hair tied in a long purple braid. Hakkai woke up rubbing his head and searching for his monocle. Finding it, along with his head band, put them both on. 

Gojyo threw a pillow at her, making her lose her balance and fall back onto her bedroll. She fell with a thud, landing on her hip. Glaring over at Goyjo she grabbed her book bag and started rummaging in it. She pulled something out and moved with such speed that Gojyo didn't know what hit him...at least until he regained consciousness. 

"YOU SAY OHAYO WHEN SOMEONE GREETS YOU IN THE MORNING YOU DUMB KAPPA(2)," she screamed at him while beating him repeatedly with her shiny metal fan. 

"Maa maa..." Hakkai was now standing behind her restraining the ferocious girl. She calmed down and walked away to put her fan back. Hakkai then turned to Gojyo with a sweat drop on his face. Gojyo lay there with big swirly eyes and a large bump on his head. "That's strange I've seen this before..." (Hakkai thinks back to when he saw the first episode of Rurouni Kenshin...) He shook his head of the silly thoughts and tended to the unconscious Goyjo. 

Goku lay sideways on his bedroll drooling, clutching his pillow as if it were going to run away if he let up his grip. He mumbled indecipherable words and then started to sniff the air. She slowly stood up still clutching the pillow tightly. 

"fooood...." He walked over to Sakura-Sanzos backpack again, shoving her out of the way to get to the food he kept smelling inside the pack. 

She was about to fume and attack Goku, when Hakkai grabbed her by the wrist. "Please don't, you never wake a sleep walker." 

"But he's going through my stuff Hakkai-chan...." She pouted at him with big puppy dog eyes. He shook his head in response and allowed Goku to rummage through the book bag to finally find something and lay back down, hopefully. 

Goku found a candy bar and slowly returned to his bed roll, clutching the pillow and bar of chocolate. Sakura-Sanzo wasn't too mad about the chocolate, it wasn't the most important thing she had hiding in the bag. She didn't need finding her "woman products" and tossing them out of the pack like a dog rummaging through a garbage can. She sighed with relief quietly and Hakkai released her, watching her every move to make sure the violent outburst was gone. 

Sanzo could only stand outside the tent watching with his eyebrow twitching like someone had it attached to a puppet string. His morning was now officially ruined. He wanted nothing then to just enjoy the peacefulness of the early day without HER. Nothing he could do about it now. 

"Hakkai! Wake up the zaru, we're leaving as soon as camp is taken down." He walked off towards the woods because quite frankly, the real reason he didn't want her awake before him was that he wanted nothing more then to relieve his bladder without her popping out of no where. 

Hakkai smiled in acknowledgment and started to shake Goku awake. He stirred groggily, slowly opening his eyes. He looked up at Hakkai and rolled onto his back and sat up. "Time for breakfast already?" 

"Sorry Goku, no time for that this morning. We have to take camp down and then get going. Sanzo must not have woken up feeling well." 

"Eeeh? Ousou dai yo.....(3)" 

"Why don't you eat that candy bar you stole from me?" Sakura-Sanzo didn't even look at the thief, rather she quickly packet up her stuff, grabbed clothes and bolted out of there to change. 

Goku watched her run out of the tent puzzled then realized he held the candy in question in his left hand. Without second thought to how and when he stole the bar, he ripped off the paper wrapping and gobbled it down. 

Hakkai tried his best to revive Goyjo without success. Giving up, he started to pack up the bed rolls, taking things out to Jeep who had already turned into their mode of transportation for the rest of the day. 

Goku got dressed, some what more alive now that he had at least something to eat. He helped Hakkai as best he could with taking the tent down. Sanzo returned from the woods with Sakura-Sanzo close at hand yelling apologies at him. His face was full of anger and his vein looked like it could take no more. 

"I didn't know that's what you were doing Sanzo-chan!" 

That was it, the finally straw that broke the camels back. He pulled the huge paper fan out of his robe and started to chase her around swatting it at her. 

"Gomenasai Sanzo-sama!" It was way to late to try and repent her ways now that he was hopping mad. Not as mad as he was that following evening, but angry nonetheless. 

Hakkai couldn't say or do anything, he just shook his head. Goku helped him to fold up the tarp of the tent. Gojyo started to stir a bit, but, didn't wake. Goku folded up the last of the tarp and they put it back into it's storage back along with the metal stakes and the rope. They then picked Gojyo up as best they could and plopped him in the back seat where he always sat next to Goku. Ready to go now that they had everything in order, it was now the task of calming down Sanzo enough to actually get going. 

"Eeto...Sanzo..." Hakkai didn't know what to do at this point. Luckily Sanzo get one last thwap in and Sakura-Sanzo lay on the ground unmoving. He put his fan away, and climbed into the passenger side of the Jeep. "Let's go." 

Hakkai smiled nervously at Sanzo then walked over to the fallen girl, scooped her up and lay her next to Goyjo who was still in the same state as her. Goku bounded into the empty space next to the sleeping Sakura-Sanzo, Hakkai climbed into the drivers seat, and on they went, heading West. 

~~~~~ 

Sakura-Sanzo stirred, letting out a low groan as her hand went directly to the bump on her head. She winced in pain and pulled her hand away quickly. She opened her eyes to see that her face was close enough to Gojyos to kiss him. She let out a low yelp and sat up quickly, knocking into Goku. She looked around quickly orientating herself with where she had just woken up with a bump on her head. seeing Hakkai driving and Sazno doing nothing put glaring let her know that she was in the Jeep heading West to the next town. She let out a sigh and turned to Goku, apologizing for bumping into him. Goyjo was still unconscious from the blows she dealt him. She felt kind of bad, but took it all back when he started talking in his sleep and started stroking the exposed skin on her legs. 

"HENTAI!!!" She punched Gojyo in the face, which crazily enough, woke him from his perverted dream. 

"What'd you do that for?" 

" 'Cause you were trying to cop a feel you perverted kappa!" 

Sazno turned around and hit Goyjo over the head with the paper fan, then glared at Sakura-Sanzo. "Urusei...." He sat back down crossing his arms, with paper fan in hand still. 

Goyjo rubbed his sore cheek and Sakura-Sanzo stuck her tongue out at him, then turned her back to him. Gojyo didn't understand why she was being so uptight. From the way she was dressed, a short red pleated skirt with a matching v-neck top, that she was just asking for it sooner or later from some random guy on the street. Then he would of punch the guy in stead of her. 

He sat back, and thought about getting to the next town. They would have real beds, real food....REAL women...Ah yes. That would be a good thing. "Ne, Hakkai. How much further until the next town?" 

"Well, last night after I returned to camp after trying to save some lives, I studied the map. I'm taking a short cut that is going to save us a day. We should be there in about 5 days now." 

Gojyos mouth hung open, "You've got to be kidding..." 

Hakkai smiled back in the rear view mirror, "No." 

Gojyo thought he was going to die right then and there. 

Sakura-Sanzo smiled. 

~~~~~ 

The sun was at the highest point in the sky when Goku started to complain about the heat. Everyone ignored him to the best of their ability until Goyjo started to complain along with him. Hakkais short cut brought them across a vast plain of dying grass. The place was almost void of trees since they started driving there. It seemed like a never ending sea of death. No flowers were growing and Sanzo saw glimpses of dead animals every now and then. He had to stop looking at his surrounding so he leaned back in his seat and tried to nap. 

Sakura-Sanzo drifted in an out of sleep curled up against a random pillow she pulled out of the black hole she called her book bag. Gojyo stopped questioning where these items were coming from because she had offered all of them a pillow to rest against. Gojyo and Goku happily took one from her but Hakkai and Sanzo politely, well polite for Sanzo and well Hakkai always is, declined. 

Goku and Gojyo followed suit and both fell into a light sleep, needing the extra rest from waking so early in the morning. Hakkai looked into the rear view mirror and smiled at all the sleeping faces. Kaiju curled up on Hakkais shoulder letting out a large yawn and soon fell asleep with the rest of the Sanzo party. 

"This could be a problem right about now..." Hakkai had a very nervous smile cross his lips. A group of ten youkai were now standing in the path of the oncoming vehicle. He slowed the Jeep down to a stop and got out of the drivers side. 

"You seem to be in our way, and quite frankly, we're in a hurry so..." 

"Hand over the priest and we'll gladly leave you to your journey." A tall youkai with red hair stepped forward. He held a gun and a sword was hanging from his belt. He had a nose ring and many tattoos covered his body. His eyes were also red reveling to Hakkai that he was one and the same as Gojyo. He retained his sanity so this guy must be loyal some how to Kougaiji. 

"Did you hear me boy! Hand the blonde beauty over." He cocked his gun and aimed it at Hakkai chest. 

"I'm a afraid that I can't do that." Getting in his defensive stance he summoned up his ball of chi energy, readying for when the youkai pulled the trigger. 

The sound of an automatic firearm made Hakkai lose his concentration for a split second as he turned to see where it had come from, he looked back to where the youkai had been standing only seeing dead bodies. Not quite understanding he didn't leave his self vulnerable. He turned around fully, seeing Sakura-Sanzo sitting on top of the seat on the drivers side of the Jeep, her foot resting on the windshield. He held a AK-47 and a smile was plastered on her face. 

"Finally! I get to try this baby out!" She jumped down from the Jeep, the others now stirring from the ruckus that just happened. Sanzo rubbed his eyes and looked over to Sakura-Sanzo holding the large gun. 

"Now that's what I call an exorcism gun." She beamed with happiness being able to show off her new toy. Saznos eyebrow twitched. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

1) Good morning everyone! 

2) Kappa-- Japanese water deamon said to eat humans. Has a bowl indent in the top of his head that contains water. Lives in rivers and if offered cucumbers, will leave the deamon preoccupied long enough to get away. Another method used is if you bow to him, the water will spill from his head. Do this enough and it will all spill out making him lose all his mackical powers. 

3)No way! or Impossible! 


	3. Day Two That afternoon

Author Note: There are footnotes near the Japanese. The translations are at the end of the document. I do not own Saiyuki or anything like that...yadda yadda...on with the story. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

That afternoon they found a small clump of trees surrounding a small pond. They set up camp to rest, so they could continue on during the evening hours when the sun wasn't up. 

Hakkai was building a fire from the plentiful dry surroundings, being careful to contain it with a rock wall and a deep pit into the ground. Goku lay in one of the only trees sleeping and snoring rather loudly. Sanzo lay against the same tree naping as well. Gojyo was playing cards with Sakura-Sanzo and loosing badly. 

"Oh my...a straight flush again," Sakura-Sanzo smiled with victory. 

"NANI!?" He picked up the cards and looked at them, then looked at the cards in his hand. "How come we both have a Queen of Spades?" He looked at her and she sweat dropped. 

"Eettooo....ja na..." She stood up fast and made a run for it, aiming to hide behind the nearest person for protection. She spotted that Hakkai was the only one awake and made a mad dash for him. 

"Hakkai-chan! Goyjo is being mean to me!" She ran around the other side of him and clutched onto the back of his shirt and peaking out from behind his waist to see if Goyjo was still in pursuit. 

Gojyos head looked like it was totaly ablaze now, with his face as red as his hair. "Hakkai, hand her over so I can beat the crap out of her!" 

"Maa maa...what's going on that you want to kill her?" 

"She was cheating at cards." 

"No I wasn't," she said innocently, standing with her head down, hands behind her. 

Hakkai didn't know what to do. He didn't want to get involved in it at all. It was too hot to be fooling around. He looked at Gojyo with a serious look on his face, "It's just a card game Gojyo. Leave it be." He returned to his chores and Gojyo stood there dumb founded. 

Gojyo then shot Sakura-Sanzo a look of death and walked away fuming, spoting Goku sleeping peacfuly in a tree. He slyly made his way over climbed into the tree onto a different branch then pushed him out. The bad thing to this was he came from the oposite side of the tree and never saw the sleeping Sanzo on the otherside until Goku was already falling to land heavily on the digruntled monk. 

Goku landed on Sanzo waking him, and causing injury to the pretty blonde man. Goku slept still, not even stirring the slightest from the fall. Sanzo was infuriated, shoved the sleeping Goku off him with a hard push, the boy still not waking. Sanzo calmed himself. It was an accident, he could walk away from this without killing anyone. Then he heard it. Laughter coming from the tree. He looked up and saw Goyjo there. The vein throbbed and the gun came out. Gojyo stopped laughing real quick and made a mad dash out of the tree to hide behind Hakkai. It had worked for the stupid girl, why not him? He hid behind his friend, only to be ensued by the enraged blonde. Not only did he run after him and shove Hakkai out of the way, but a bullet just barely missed hitting his left ear. 

~~~~~ 

The sun beat down on them through the leave of the trees they took shelter under. The heat seemed to find them no matter how much shade they protected themselves with. Sanzo and Goyjo still were at odd with each other since Goyjo pushed Goku out of the tree onto Sanzo. It was too hot for Hakkai to even care what they did to each other at that point. It had been hours since it happened and Sanzo was still fuming at Goyjo. 

Sakura-Sanzo sat there watching the two dragons sleep in the shade of the trees and yawned loudly, making Hakkai look over at her. She face faulted into the ground then stood up abruptly. "I know what I can do!" She grabbed her book bag, which never strayed from her, and started rummaging through the contents. She pulled out a packet of origami paper and took out a sheet of bright orange paper. She beamed with happiness and started to fold the paper with immense speed. She finished and held the paper animal in her hand, proud of herself. 

"Ne ne, Hakkai." He looked over to her seeing what she folded the paper into and snickered. It was a paper monkey made from bright orange origami paper. 

She stood up, taking the paper with her, to go find Sanzo to give him the paper monkey she made. She found him lounging in a tree, frowning when she saw he was finally sleeping again, with no Goyjo in sight. She took a fresh sheet of the bight paper and folded it into an airplane. Standing back up, she flew it towards Sanzos sleeping face. It hit him right in the nose, waking him almost instantly. He sat up, pist off again, he reached for his gun as another paper airplane flew by his head. 

"Come make origami animals with me Sanzo!" 

He looked down to see a smiling Sakura-Sanzo looking back up at him. She then held up the orange monkey for him to see. He picked up the orange airplane that landed in his lap and looked at it, a sadness filling his eyes. He climbed down from the tree and grabbed the paper from her, vein poping from his forehead. 

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS PAPER FROM ME?!" 

She started to laugh, and ran away from the enraged Sanzo now wielding a paper fan. "Sou de wa, himitsu des'," she yelled back at him snickering. He gave up, it was too hot to exert more engery then needed. Then he pulled out his gun and shot at her a few times. He looked back at the paper turning it over to revel the white side of the paper, a note from the stupid girl on the last piece in the pile: 

**"Ne San-chan! Here are instructions to making paper monkeys..."**

****His eyebrow twitched. Just what he needed to learn to make. Not like they didn't have enough of Goku as it was, making mini paper Gokus? He dare not even think of it. He took that sheet of paper out and crumbled it into a ball and let if fall to the ground, then put the remaining pieces into his kimono sleeve. _Let's see her get them from me now..._Climbing back into the tree, he closed his eyes to continue his interrupted midday nap. 

~~~~~ 

Hakkai lay under a tree watching Kaiju and Jeep chirp at each other and play. He smiled at them, seeing that they were so happy to know each other. Sakura-Sanzo wandered over and sat down next to Hakkai, drawing her knees to her chest then putting her arms around them. 

"They seem to like each other alot," said Hakkai still smiling at the two dragons. 

"Mmm..." She snuggled up to Hakkai and closed her eyes. He was shocked at what she was doing then noticed she was falling asleep. _Guess it can't hurt. Seems everyone else has degected her and Goku is no where to be found right now. Those two are so cute together when they interact. _

He continued watching the dragons, then pulled out the map from the inside of his shirt to observe where they might be on it. He located a small spot on the map that might be their coordinates, then took out a compass from his pants, and observed the direction again. They were indeed heading West still, atleast they weren't too lost. He decided that the glitch on the map must be where they are. They would have another half of day of driving to reach the other side of the dead zone, as it was labeled on the map. He sighed, knowing that they would need to travel tonight to avoid the imense heat during the day. Putting the map and compass on the ground next to him, he closed his eyes to try and get some more sleep. He was the only one that drove, so, he needed more then the rest of them. He opened his eyes again, located Jeep then called out to him. His little white dragon fluttered over then chirped at him in response. "We're going to be driving all night tonight, so, you should try and get some sleep." Jeep chirped again then landed in Hakkais lap, curled up and closed his eyes. No sooner that he did this, Kaiju fluttered over and curled up on Jeeps back. A half hour later the group of four was sleeping soundly under the tree. 

~~~~~ 

Sanzo stirred again from his sleep, sitting up and slid off the tree branch. It was very uncomfortable to sleep in a tree for any length of time for him. His back cried out in pain, and his neck was stiff. He needed a smoke and a beer. That would make him feel better. He wandered away from the tree he had been sleeping in moments before, and was now looking for Hakkai. He had put the supplies some place so that Goku would get into the food rations, so who the hell knew where they were. 

He looked behind trees and in them, not finding one of the only people who could make Sanzo depend on another for such things as cigarettes. He walked to the edge of the trees and saw them there. He was shocked, almsot dumb struck to what he saw. Hakkai was sleeping with that GIRL laying on him. How could he? How could he sink so low as to become attracted to such a girl? She had no shame and didn't care as to what she did to the people around her, only that it amused her. He shuttered at what he saw. _How could he replace Kannan with a girl like HER?_ He walked away disgusted at Hakkai, now not caring if he had a beer, just wanted a cigarette, knowing that he could get one out of Goyjo even if he had to shoot him dead for it. 

Finding the dumb kappa, he kicked him in the ribs to wake him up. Goyjo woke with a start, not to happy that his side was now in pain. He looked up to see Sanzo looking down at him. "What do you want droopy?" 

Sanzo wasn't in the mood and grabbed Goyjo by the front of his shirt, picked him off the ground, then took the pack of cigarettes out of Goyjos front pocket. He let go of his shirt, letting him land hard on the ground then walked away with his prize. Goyjo didn't argue. Something had gotten to him bad enough today to not even ask for him to hand over the cigarettes. He wasn't going to get involved that may cost him his life. He lay his head back down on the makeshift pillow he made out of his spare shirt and tried to fall back to sleep. 

Sanzo walked into the grove of trees trying to find a secluded place that no one else would bother him. He sat down on the outskirt of the small paradise, and took a cancer stick out of the pack, lighting it with his zippo. He inhaled deeply, and slowly let the smoke trickle from his lungs, trying to relax and forget the things that had happened in the past two days. Nothing helped. He put the cigarette out in the sand, took his robe off. The black satin shirt and pants he wore under his robe made his pale skin look grey with worry. He folded the robe up and lay on it try to clear his head. 

~~~~~ 

It was a little past sunset when he realized he had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. He sat up rubbing his face. His back still hurt but atleast his neck wasn't sore anymore. Sanzo stood, picking up his robe. He shook the dust and dirt from it and put it back on. It was time for them to pick up all there stuff and to get going again. The heat of the day was now over and they shouldn't have any troubles getting to the other side by daybreak. 

He walked to where Goyjo had been sleeping and didn't find him anywhere in sight. He gave up on him and walked to where he had seen the repulsive scene of Hakkai and Sakura-Sanzo sleeping peacefuly together. He walked out from behind a tree to see Hakkai laying on the ground with a blanket over him, his naked chest exposed for all to see. Sanzo stopped in his tracks. He couldn't believe his eyes. Hakkai really was out of his freaking mind. That's when he saw her. Sakura-Sanzo walked out from behind a large tree dressed up in Hakkais clothes right down to the monocle and the head band. He was about to fume at her when Jeep and Kaiju came out of nowhere and landed on either shoudler. 

"YES! It worked!" She stood there beaming with happiness. 

Hakkai woke from her yelling and Sanzo fell over. 

"I knew this would work. Ne Kaiju, do you love me again?" 

"What the HELL is going on?" Sanzo now was so confused it wasn't funny. 

Hakkai then noticed that he lay on the ground in just his boxers, his face blushed knowing that Sanzo thought that he had done something that he would have never done with another woman after Kannan died. Well, the right one alteast, not with someone like Sakura-Sanzo though. 

"Well you see, I got really jealous of Kaiju likeing Hakkai better then me so I thought If I looked like Hakkai my little dragon would love me agian." She blushed furiously, then bowed in apology. Hakkai looked at her, seeing that she was dressed up in his clothes. How she got them off him was beyond him, but, he snickerd at her because all of the articles were way to big on her. She even wore his shoes which seemed to be four sizes too big. 

"Since it worked so well, you're not getting your clothes back." She smiled triumphantly at Hakkai. 

"Eetto...Can I atleast have my monocle back please? I can't see to drive if I don't have it on." 

She handed it back to him, then took off with the dragons chirping right behind her. 

"Sanzo, now what am I going to wear..." 

"Most certainly not just what you have on. I don't want to see your half naked ass. Get something from Gojyo. He seems to always have extra clothes." Sanzo walked away, regretting that he ever came across that stupid girl. Someone was really going to die after he found out what she needed to observe them for. 

Sakura-Sanzo came running back with the dragons in tow and her book bag on her shoulder. She opened it up and pulled out a pair of jeans and a white wife beater. "Here, you can wear this!" 

"Um, do you have anything else?" 

"Only this shirt." She pulled out a bright pink long sleeved shirt with the collar trimed in feathers. Hakkai sweat dropped, taking the jeans and wife beater from her left hand. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

1. Eetto...Ja na... -- Ummm...bye... 

2. Maa maa -- Now now... 

3. Sou de wa...himitsu des -- That's a secret. 

4. Chan is used at the end of young kids names and girls names mostly. 


	4. Day Three Early Morning

Author Note: There are footnotes near the Japanese. The translations are at the end of the document. I do not own Saiyuki or anything like that...yadda yadda...on with the story. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Hakkai drove in silence as the others drifted in and out of sleep and a uncomfortable silence that had fallen on them since the incident before they left. He couldn't believe what had happened himself. It was too weird. How was she able to remove his clothes was beyond him. _Unless...but that's stupid. Couldn't be..._he thought to himself. Sanzo lay sleeping soundly in the seat next to him and the others were very quite. Looking in the rearview showed to him that Sakura-Sanzo was the only one awake at the moment. Seeing her in his clothes made him shutter, thinking of how chilly the air was and that he didn't have any shoes covering his now bare feet. 

A evil smile came across her face but then she briefly made eye contact with Hakkai in the mirror and the smile faded, unable to look at him. _Maybe another time..._

She lay back down then realized that she had blankets in her book bag and pulled one out. She smiled warmly and leaned over the seat wrapping it around Hakkais almost bare shoulders. "I'm sorry that I took your clothes like that. It's just that I've never had Kaiju attach herself to someone other then me. I was afraid that she wouldn't want to go with after we have to part ways is all. I hope that Sanzo isn't going to be mad with you the rest of the way." 

"Don't worry about Sanzo. He overreacts to everything. I can handle him, if no one else." 

It put her at ease, more so then the silence that was mocking her. She really felt bad about what happened and decided to keep a low profile until they got to the other side of the "dead zone". She didn't want anyone else getting the third degree from Sanzo when it should have been her. After they had gotten in the Jeep, Hakkai was ripped apart by Sanzo in front of everyone. He didn't believe anything she or Hakkai said to him. She was very upset with Sanzo for that. Although, he was going to get his...in time. 

She laid on a pillow that she had taken out earlier, and tried to sleep. The thoughts running through her head made it very hard for her to try and relax. Sitting back up, she leaned onto the back of Hakkais seat, and watched the darkness being cut by the headlights of the Jeep. Very few plants made their timely demise by way of the tires of the vehicle. There really was nothing out there to speak of. 

"Ne, Hakkai..." 

He looked up into the mirror looking at her in response, but looked back at the path they were taking in the field. "Why don't you stop the car and I'll drive for awhile?" 

"But, I'm fi-..." 

"No, I insist. I think you need a break from driving anyway. I caught you dozing off." She smiled a bright grin at him, pouring the charm on extra thick. He sighed, and pressed on the break, slowly bringing them to a stop. _Hopefully no one will wake up..._

He traded spots with Sakura-Sanzo, and they were on their way again. Hakkai covered himself with the blanket, snuggled into the pillow she left behind, and fell asleep. 

~~~~~ 

The morning sun was drown out by the thick forest they were now driving through. Goku was the first to wake, with hunger pains in his belly. He rubbed his gold eyes and sat up taking in the new surroundings. "Hak...Hakkai?" He looked around the Jeep confused, he wasn't driving. "Where's Hakkai?" 

"Sleeping. I took over driving so we would all be alive still. Well this looks like a good of a place to stop as any." Stopping the Jeep, she grabbed her book bag out of the back, and opened it up. "Don't worry Goku, I'll make us some breakfast." She started rummaging through the bag, and pulled out a few cans of food. Then put them back while cursing about forgetting a can opener. "Here we are! I have instant miso and a bag of rice. Want to go fishing? Demo(1)...is there even any place to fish?" She ran back to the Jeep and pulled out the map, crying because the nearest source of water was miles away. 

Sanzo stirred from the noise those two were making, and her crying. He wasn't happy. He sat up, ready to kill, but as confused as Goku to the whereabouts of Hakkai. He looked in the back of the Jeep, seeing him fast asleep. His eyebrow twitched, how could he let her drive? Well, no complaining from him since they still were alive and in the forest they needed to be in. 

Seeing that Sanzo was awake, Goku bounced over, as hungry as ever, and in need of some water to make breakfast with. 

"Of course we don't have anymore water! That stupid girl has taken everything from us, even our clothes!" 

That was the last straw for her, she couldn't take that "big meanie" anymore. She walked over to her book bag, unzipped it stepped inside, made a raspberry at Sanzo, and disappeared inside, zipping it behind her. 

"Are?(2)...." Goku was thoroughly confused. 

"...." Sanzo could careless, but was quite disturbed that she could actually do that. 

The confused, curious Goku walked over to the bag in mention, and sniffed at it. All the good smells that can from it, weren't there anymore. He hesitantly grabbed the zipper, and opened it up. He peaked inside, only to find it completely empty. He picked it off the ground and shook it, and even tried the same thing that she did. Nothing happened. 

"Leave it there, we're leaving." Sanzo sat in the drivers seat of the Jeep, and turned the engine over. Goku wasn't happy about just leave the book bag there, but didn't touch it. He moped over to the Jeep and climbed into the passengers side, to continue there trek to the next town. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

1. Demo - But 

2. Are - Huh? 

Sorry that this chapter is incredibly short, and took so long to write. I have been out of really good ideas for this story. Which means, and ending is in order soon. Look for a new story from me after this is finished. The other story that I started is geared around Hakkai, and has yet to be titled. Expect angst though...^_~ 

~Phoenix 


	5. Fast Forward to Day Six OR Final Chapter

Lilin sniffed at the forest air, picking up the scent of a very familiar person. She jumped out of the tree she was perched in, and ran in the direction the faint smell emanated from. She slowed to a jog and sniffed again, the smell seemed stronger and fresher. Picking the pace back up, she spotted fresh tired prints in the distance, that had driven through a mud puddle in the road. She ran over to the tracks and sniffed at them, contemplating in her head, then she spotted it on the ground. A book bag just sitting there. She approached it with caution, picked up a stick and started to poke at it. Finding that there was no trap set up that she could see she squatted down next to it. She couldn't put her finger on it, but the scent she picked up seemed very familiar indeed. She picked up the book bag and took in large lung full of air, better telling her who she was tracking the entire time. "BALDY!" She smiled happily when she picked out the scent of Sanzo. He must have left this here by mistake. She grinned evilly. There must be something important in this that they carry it in a plain thing like this. She opened the zipper and saw some incriminating photos of Sanzo and a lady friend she didn't recognize. The girl in the picture had a skimpy black halter dress on. Sanzo didn't have...well...much of anything on. After Lilin stopped the laughing and the nausea, she closed the book bag, put it on her back, and followed the trail of the Sanzo group. 

~~~~~ 

"Apparently I miscalculated how much time until we got to the town," said Hakkai driving though the gates of the town they had been headed to. Sanzo sat in silence as Goku bounced around the back of the Jeep with much happiness. This meant that they would be able to have real food to eat, and a nice warm bed to sleep in. 

Hakkai parked the Jeep in front of a inn with a sign that read "Vacancy" on the door. Everyone's joints creaked from driving for 3 days straight through to the next town. Sanzo refused to left them stop at all. They all piled into the doorway, looking as if they couldn't walk. Sanzo requested four rooms with single beds, and handed her the credit card. He finished signing the guest book and walked up the stairs that seem to mock his sore legs. sleep was a much needed thing for him right now and a nice soft bed was all he could think of. He unlocked the door to his hotel room walking in to see no blankets on his bed. ::Insert twitching eyebrow here:: 

Clenching and unclenching his fists, he walked back down the stairs very unhappily. Approaching the woman at the front desk, she smiled back at him. "Is there something wrong with the room sir?" 

"There are no blankets on the bed." 

"I'll send a maid up as soon as one is free. It may be a while though, two of them are out for lunch." 

His eyebrow twitched, and he walked back upstairs. May as well buy supplies with the extra time he had. Sanzo knocked loudly on Hakkais door, telling him he was going to go buy supplies by himself. Overhearing things, like he always does, Goku came charging out of his room bouncing around asking if he could go also. Sanzo hit him with the mighty paper fan of doom to shut him up. "I'm taking you only if you don't bother me. Now shut up and let's go." 

~~~~~ 

Lilin was hot on the trail of the Sanzo group which led her inside a town. She spotted the Jeeps tire tracks in front of a hotel and towards the door, which opened up just as she was about the plow through it, which made her run right into Sanzo. Sanzo was not happy. Sanzos eyebrow was about to fall off from twitching so much. He picked her up by the back of her shirt and plopped her out of the way and walked down the porch stairs. 

"Sanzo! I found you," she yelled at him picked her self off the ground. She smiled a big grin and then ran to stand in front of him. "Give me the sutra, or I'll let everyone see what I have inside this book bag." 

Sanzo started to laugh, no one would want to see what was in there for sure, because that was the book bag that Sakura-Sanzo disappeared into. 

"......," Sanzo stopped laughing. 

"Oh, so you know what's in here baldy monk! Now hand over the sutra!" 

Sanzo wasn't going to stand for it anymore. He started to walk away. 

"Wait, you can't go!" She ran in front of him again, and unzipped the book bag. She grinned and opened it for him to see inside. 

"HAKKAI-SAN! DID YOU MISS.....You're not Hakkai!" Sakura-Sanzo ducked back into the book bag and zipped it, hiding once more in her portable hammer space. Lilin was very confused. Then she recognized the girl, she was the one from the pictures. She was even more confused. Lilin alarm went off, and she pulled a Grandfather clock from her pants pocket, examined the time then took off, saying something about her brother, leaving the clock in the middle of the road. 

This time Goku picked up the book bag, put it on and then ran back inside to the hotel. Sanzo was ready to put his gun in his mouth and pull the trigger, but then again, he made it to the next town, and that stupid girl would be leaving them now. After pulling together some sanity, he walked off to get cigarettes. 

~~~~~ 

Goyjo locked the door to his hotel room just as Goku bounded down the hall way with the way too familiar book bag on his shoulders. Plastering himself against the door, his eyes wide, and cigarette fallen to the floor, "Where the hell did you get that from," he exclaimed. 

Goku smiled and opened it up. Sakura-Sanzo peeked her head out of the bag just enough to see, then stepped out in the black dress she wore when they fist meet. She then continued to root through the bag and picked out a mandarin style coat with red dragons on it. She slipped into some boots, blew a kiss at Goyjo then walked back towards the stairs. Goku looked into the bag and it was now filled with chocolate bars. He grinned, drool dripping down his chin, ran to his room to devour the chocolate. 

~~~~~ 

The chatter of conversations and a smoky atmosphere greeted Goyjo as he walked into the bar. With his hands in his pockets he sat himself at a table, then waved down a barmaid. He ordered a beer, and leaned back in his chair. There was a nice crowd of people for a late afternoon on a week day. Work must get out early for these people. A man walked over to Goyjo and sat across from him putting his own beer on the table in front of himself. 

"Play cards," the man asked him. The room fell quite as people watched Goyjos reaction to the man sitting in front of him. Goyjo chuckled to himself and sat upright in his chair leaning his elbows on the table. 

"Most certainly do, what's your game?" 

"Blackjack." 

"You've got yourself a rival." 

The man took a deck from his jacket, and placed it in front of Goyjo, "You cut." 

~~~~~ 

Sakura-Sanzo walked down the street admiring the shops that were now closed for the day, her reclaimed book bag hanging from her shoulders reeking of chocolate. It being summer and all, made everyone want to get home, and rest in the cool of the evening. It was a round 4 PM and her stomach was protesting that it most certainly was time for dinner. She remembered passing by a bar on this street and turned back to stop in for some food. Hopefully it tasted good, she hadn't eaten anything for a few days. 

Walking hastily down the street she found the only establishment that was still open past 2 PM. She walked in through the swinging doors and like always, everyone stopped talking. Sighing, she blew everyone a kiss then seated herself at a table near the door. She scanned the room and saw a small crowd of women near a table in the back of the room. Curious, she wandered over to see what kind of man could attract the attention of so many women at one time. She held back the laughter when she saw who it was and seated herself indiscreetly near the unsuspecting Goyjo playing cards and drinking cheap beer. 

"Ne Goyjo, how do you get your hair such a nice shade of red," asked a tall blonde girl, running her finger through his long hair. 

She couldn't help herself, it was just too funny, so she laughed, and laughed loud enough that everyone standing near Goyjo, including him, turned towards her. She doubled over in her chair and wiped the tears. Sakura-Sanzo then walked over to the table steadying herself by leaning on the table and calmed herself enough to speak. "You call that red! Hahahahaha! That's not red!" She motioned towards them to wait a minute, then she returned to her table and opened up her book bag. Half way submerged into the opening of the pack, she started to emerge struggling with something, then she finally got it out. 

"Oro?" The short red headed Japanese man sat on the floor in a fuchsia kimono and white hakama. His sleeves tied back with a tasuki cord, and a basket of laundry in his hands. 

She grabbed the ex-battousai by the pony tail and dragged him over to Gojyo. "Now, this is red," she said clearing her throat, and holding the mans hair up to Gojyos. Letting go of the mans hair, she then ripped off the poor confused rurounis kimono off with a loud rip, and held it up to Goyjos hair. "Now, this is fuchsia. Gojyos hair matches perfectly. Need I say more?" The girls standing around Goyjo slowly backed off, then walked away. Sakura-Sanzo snickered. 

"Ano...sumimasen...," stuttered the half naked red haired man. 

"Oh yeah," she picked him up with all his belongings then stuffed him back into the bookbag. 

~~~~~ 

Kenshin fell out of the sky with a loud thud as he landed in the middle of the dojos courtyard. The laundry basket soon followed falling next to him, dirtying all the undergarments he just had cleaned. Kaoru came walking out of the dojo, with a broom in her hand, "Kenshin, what the hel--," her nose started bleeding and she passed out on the ground. Kenshins kimono then floated down and covered up the swirly eyed samurais bare chest. 

~~~~~ 

Gojyo glared at Sakura-Sanzo with such purpose that he could have burned a hole through her head and then through the wall on the other side of the room. "What the hell are you trying to do to me girl!" 

She smiled in response as the rest of the Sanzo party entered the bar looking to fill their stomachs. She stood up, knowing that it was about time to tell them what was going on and let them know what the consequences would be. "Oh be quiet silly, you and the rest of your group over there need to hear what I have to say about your case." 

Gojyo got up with a look that could kill, and followed her over to the table that his traveling companions sat at. "Now, I'm sure you all want to get this over with, so shall we? I'm sure you want to know what I found out, and that information can't be told to as of yet, since my report isn't finished. But I can let you know this..." 

She stood up from the table and started to unzip her dress. Gojyo wasn't giving up the opportunity for a free show, neither were most of the men in the room. Goku didn't understand, Hakkai blushed and looked into his teacup, and Sanzo looked out the window. 

She picked up the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head, revealing that.... 

She was really Kanzeon Bosatsu. 

"Gotcha!" she blew a kiss at Sanzo then returned to heaven. 

"Goyjo, remind me to kill you after we get out of here." 

"Why me?" 

::Shoots gun at Goyjos head:: 

"Now now..." 

"Huh? I don't get it." 

(Oh yeah...Kaijyu and Jeep lived happily ever after.) 

THE END 

_____________________________________________________________________ 

Well, I hope you enjoyed this crazy little tale. If you don't get the Kenshin references, just find a picture of him, then you'll understand. Thanks for reading! 

~Phoenix 


End file.
